THE TRUST FACTOR, Part 3, from Cathy Hunsberger’s classic book

Trust is also vitally important when one person is mentoring another, helping him climb the bridge ladder.  It gives a partnership stability and security.

I’ve seen many a beginner wearing that well-known confused look.  His partner, trying to make up for the beginner’s inexperience, has overbid, underbid, or taken a flier into outer space.  The beginner wonders what he missed.  This does not sound like what he was told earlier were the “rules”.

Both teacher and beginner can relax if the more experienced player simply follows the road map.  The mentor resolves to submerge his own ego for the good of the partnership.  Taking a few bad boards often makes an impression which weeks of lessons will not.    ***

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THE TRUST FACTOR, Part 1, from Cathy Hunsberger’s classic book

“Our distrust is very expensive.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Bridge is a partnership game – we hear this often.  Just what does “partnership” imply?

A solid partnership blends cooperation, hard work, and continuous communication.  You collaborate with your partner.  You set goals; you decide how to reach those goals.  Your convention card is discussed, re-discussed, and sometimes just plain cussed.  You decide what conventions to use, how to use them, and what your style will be.   Most importantly –

YOU FOLLOW YOUR OWN RULES UNTIL YOU MUTUALLY DECIDE TO CHANGE THEM.  That is TRUST.

This is especially important at the beginning of a partnership, when both partners are getting used to each other.

I am reminded of a new partner I played with years ago.  At first he made wild and “innovative” bids and plays.  I kept up my steady pace, played by the rules, and said nothing.  Quite hard for a woman.  After a few sessions, my partner played much better bridge.  He trusted me; I had my bids, and I had my passes.  We then did consistently well – it was worth the struggle.  My tongue was sore for a while, though.

***

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THE SEARCH, Final, from Cathy Hunsberger’s classic book

And what has this adventure to do with bridge (I know you are wondering)?  I was reminded of our first search for a bridge partner.   As we investigate, we find an assortment of characters.   Some players poke along, like a worn-out old truck, and fall apart when the action gets too fast and furious.  Some put up a good front, but can get really hot and fired up over any little thing (they evidently have a loose wire – or two).  Some are glamorous, the Cadillac type, but operate in a cloud of smoke, seemingly oblivious to everything around them (except the mirror).  Still others have played so long (200,000+ miles and climbing) their ability to change has come to a stop – their odometer is broken.  We are lucky when we finally find a good steady player, like a littleToyota.  Nothing fancy perhaps, but reliable and dependable.  We may make a few false “jumps and starts” getting to know each other, but in the end we ride smoothly off and know we’ll get there.

At long last we’ve found a winner.

“…May you find what you’re seeking wherever you roam.” – Irish Blessing.

***

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THE SEARCH, Part 2, from Cathy Hunsberger’s classic book

We approached the next prospect with somewhat dampened enthusiasm.  We met the owner at his farm, and hopped on his dune buggy to bump out to the south 40 where the car was abandoned, uh, I mean parked.  The car looked fairly decent at first glance, paint intact, no rust – dare we hope?  Then we opened the driver’s door.  There were wires running everywhere, in every direction, some not seemingly connected to anything.  Getting gingerly in, Stephen suddenly jumped convulsively.  “That wire’s hot!” he yelped.  Not exactly comforting.  The owner then admitted that the car did need a little work (an understatement).  He helpfully offered to let Stephen work on it there at the farm.  He showed us a large concrete apron in front of a major tool shed.  A tool shed that was crammed from stem to stern with every kind of miscellaneous tool and part imaginable.  Unfortunately, there was no organization, just massive piles and heaps everywhere.  As we moved rapidly away, mumbling about wanting to see a few more offerings before making a decision, Stephen eyed the owner’s daughter.  Now that, he commented, was really hot.  Stephen conceded he might need to come back for a second look or two at the car after all.    ***

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THE SECRET OF SUCCESSFUL (Bridge) PARTNERSHIPS, #4, from Cathy Hunsberger

Misunderstandings

“Do not speak – unless it improves on silence.” – Buddhist saying.

And finally, when misunderstandings do occur – as they inevitably will – keep calm and cool.  Ask yourself what you would want your partner to say to you if you had just made that same stupid bid.  After all, you both have the same goal in mind.  These misunderstandings can be good learning tools and engender illuminating discussions.  A “bad” bid can lead to bigger and better things.  You may even thank your partner for his or her mistake!                ***

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THE MAGIC OF SUCCESSFUL (Bridge) PARTNERSHIPS, #3, from Cathy Hunsberger

Keeping a Partner

“One beam alone, no matter how stout, cannot support a house.” – Chinese Proverb.

One factor that should remain constant is flexibility.  A convention card is only a piece of paper.  A system is not written in concrete.  It can be amended, changed, modified.  It can be screwed up in a ball and thrown away.

If a system or convention isn’t working for you and your partner, change it, try something new, experiment.  Ask an expert, read a book, take lessons.

If you are a serious student of the game, keep a log with all your bidding agreements.  Upgrade it regularly.  Go over it with your partner at least once a month.  Constant memory enhancement helps reduce misunderstandings.  Ask if you are both happy with this system.  A happy partner is one of the keys to success.                       ***

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THE MAGIC OF SUCCESSFUL (Bridge) PARTNERSHIPS, #2, from Cathy Hunsberger

Choosing a System

 “Interdependency requires lavish communication.” – Max Dupree.

You and your new partner must decide on and learn the language with which you are going to communicate.  Go over your convention card thoroughly.  Ask questions.

Which are the best conventions?  They are the ones that suit you, your personality, your game, your approach to the game.  They are the ones you and your partner agree on, and DISCUSS THOROUGHLY.

There are an amazing number of ways to play every convention.  Don’t just ask, “Do you play Gerber?”  Once you agree to play Gerber ask your partner how he plays Gerber.  Does he play straight Gerber, does he play it only over NT, does he play 1430 mini-maxi Gerber, etc.  Almost all partnership misunderstandings arise from lack of thorough discussion.

Remember too, you are creating a unified system, something that works and flows together, that meshes.  Check for duplications.  Do you have two bids for the same hand type?

Does the card seem more than you can handle right now?  Too much too soon is a common source of misunderstanding and friction.  You want partnership rapport, not necessarily every convention in the book.                          ***

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THE MAGIC OF SUCCESSFUL (Bridge) PARTNERSHIPS, from Cathy Hunsberger

 

Bridge is a PARTNERSHIP GAME.  This is the first tenet of bridge.  It is the basis for all subsequent understandings, agreements and happy cohabitation at the bridge table.

“If we are together nothing is impossible.  If we are divided all will fail.” – Winston Churchill.

Choosing a Partner

 “Joint undertakings stand a better chance when they benefit both sides.” – Euripides.

What should you look for in a partner?  Ideally, you want someone you can be in sync with, whose mind set is similar to yours.  You want a partner you can communicate with, argue with, laugh with, and in the end, start over with.

How does your mind work?  Do you like a bid to mean the same thing every time?  Are you very literal?  Very creative?  Do you like to experiment?  These are factors that should influence how you choose your partners, how you approach the game, how you complete your convention card; these factors are often overlooked.

If you want a simple game, a light hobby, a straight-forward convention card, you are not going to be happy with someone who takes the game very seriously, wants to try any and all conventions, and analyzes each deal to the nth degree.

Know yourself and choose your partners wisely.  ***

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HEARTBREAK HOTEL at the Bridge Center, Final, from Cathy Hunsberger

I ask Katy to play, and she agrees.  When I enter the playing room, I feel all eyes are upon me, wondering why I’m not playing with Boots.  I hope Boots isn’t there.  The doubts begin all over again.  However, Katy joins me quickly and steers me over to the hospitality table. We talk and laugh and carry on like nothing in the world could possibly be wrong.  I begin to feel much better.  When Boots comes in I pretend I don’t even see her.  As we play, nobody mentions a thing, or asks about why Boots and I are not partners today.  I begin to realize everyone probably knows Boots better than I do.

Time passes, and I get another steady partner.  She and I get along well and we agree to be up front with each other from the get-go.  I don’t worry, just go with the flow.  I now realize that, sooner or later, all things change; it is a natural progression in life.  We have what we need now, and later we will have what we need later.  I trust inProvidence.

As Elvis croons, “You make me so lonely baby, I get so lonely, I get so lonely I could die.”  But I didn’t die, and I won’t.  A new partner, and a few wins, will be my best revenge.  ***

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My classic book, SECRETS YOUR BRIDGE FRIENDS NEVER TELL YOU [endorsed by Marty Bergen] is now available in paperback!  To order an autographed copy. email me at chunsberger@cox.net (via email only – discounted at $5.95).  For more information, visit my website at www.cathyhunsberger.com.

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HEARTBREAK HOTEL at the BRIDGE CENTER, Part 4, from Cathy Hunsberger

How did this happen?  Did I do something wrong?  How could Boots be so cruel?  What a blow.

I decide not to play that day.  Instead I have a leisurely lunch, accompanied by a glass of wine, or two, or three.  Then I call my good friend, Katy.

I cry into the phone, telling it all.  Katy soothes me.  She explains that Boots is always like this, jumping from partner to partner, thoughtlessly leaving a trail of bewildered ex-partners behind.  She assures me it is not personal.  I am somewhat mollified, and instead of doubt, I begin to feel rage.  How dare she?  What a backstabber.  I cannot believe I fell for her line.  What a fool.  ***

BOOK ORDERS NOW BEING ACCEPTED!

My classic book, SECRETS YOUR BRIDGE FRIENDS NEVER TELL YOU [endorsed by Marty Bergen] is now available in paperback!  To order an autographed copy. email me at chunsberger@cox.net (via email only – discounted at $5.95).  For more information, visit my website at www.cathyhunsberger.com.

Also available at amazon.com!

If you prefer an e-book visit ebooksbridge.com.